Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts

Monday, December 7, 2015

Ayesha Curry and Shaming Women into Modesty


Before this weekend I might have taken Steph Curry's wife's advice on fashion, raising adorable children, and finding hunky awesome men, but thanks to her tweet on Sunday, that has all changed. 
 @ayeshacurry "Everyone's into barely wearing clothes these days huh? Not my style. I like to keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters *crying laughing emoji*"
and later
"Regardless of if you like my 'style of clothes' or not (which I don't care) please do not tear down and degrade women... not cool peeps"
Here's the thing, you just tore down and degraded women, check yourself before you wreck yourself.
 
Statements like this always frustrate me, but for a long time I had trouble articulating why. So I'm going to try to explain with the "modesty movement" is a load of misogynistic crap designed to get women to fight each other, rather than fighting The Man.
First, by saying this, people are also basically saying that a women's body is always on display and the way you dress is an representation of what you want members of the opposite sex to do to you. And it's not a far leap from there to say "did you see how she way dressed? she was asking for it".
Now don't get me wrong, some clothing does have specific purposes,(ski jackets, cleats, yard work gloves) but they don't relate to how anyone should treat you. Women who wear short dresses do not want to engage in sexual activities with every person that sees them in that dress. And to suggest so is just dumb. Men don't have this pressure to constantly be "on point" so that society will value them, so why are we doing this to women?
 
Second, my body is not for consumption by someone else. Why would you say that your body is for "the one that matters"? Isn't your body for yourself? A container made of flesh and bones to carry your soul through life? My body isn't here to serve anyone's purpose but my own.
 
Third, basically this says that a woman's best qualities are her tits and ass. Are you covering up your ambition? your compassion? your ability to inspire and motivate those around you with your blazer and scarf? No. Personally I think that is truly the "good stuff".
 
So basically I want to say, dress modestly if that's what makes you comfortable, but you shouldn't have to dress modestly because of what man (or other judgmental women) may think of you.  And if you happen to find yourself being a judgmental fart, take a step back and remind yourself that you have probably worn something that someone else didn't like and that doesn't make you any less of a human.  These are your sisters, so stop judging, start listening and Smash the Patriarchy.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Amour Propre Collaboration



     
A few weeks ago I was contacted by Amour Propre. Never heard of them? Well they're a great company that aims to decrease bullying by using student advocates and adults that have come out the other side. And also they have cool t-shirts, which is always fun.
     Calvin, the creator of the company, asked me to think a bit about my story before we met up to shoot so that I could have something genuine and unique to say. So I began to think back to high school and middle school, not exactly the best of times. And it really made me realize that as women, we never truly stop being bullies.  Girls make snide comments behind their friend's back, and continue to do so when they're grown women. 
     So even if I aimed my comments at a teenage version of myself, they could easily be applicable to someone my age. As adults we still need to find the courage to stand up for ourselves, to stand up for others. Every time someone makes a "go eat a hamburger" joke the 13 year old in me cringes and tries to hide in the shadows, but the 24 year old puffs her chest out and looks them in the eye. Insulting my body won't make you love yours more, Insulting my style won't make you trendier, Pointing out my dorkiness won't make you any cooler. 
     Instead, work on loving yourself and loving the people around you, every dorky bit of them. I stand by my senior year motto: You do You.
"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde