Ayesha Curry and Shaming Women into Modesty

Before this weekend I might have taken Steph Curry's wife's advice on fashion, raising adorable children, and finding hunky awesome men, but thanks to her tweet on Sunday, that has all changed. 

 @ayeshacurry "Everyone's into barely wearing clothes these days huh? Not my style. I like to keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters *crying laughing emoji*"

and later

"Regardless of if you like my 'style of clothes' or not (which I don't care) please do not tear down and degrade women... not cool peeps"

Here's the thing, you just tore down and degraded women, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

 

Statements like this always frustrate me, but for a long time I had trouble articulating why. So I'm going to try to explain with the "modesty movement" is a load of misogynistic crap designed to get women to fight each other, rather than fighting The Man.

First, by saying this, people are also basically saying that a women's body is always on display and the way you dress is an representation of what you want members of the opposite sex to do to you. And it's not a far leap from there to say "did you see how she way dressed? she was asking for it".

Now don't get me wrong, some clothing does have specific purposes,(ski jackets, cleats, yard work gloves) but they don't relate to how anyone should treat you. Women who wear short dresses do not want to engage in sexual activities with every person that sees them in that dress. And to suggest so is just dumb. Men don't have this pressure to constantly be "on point" so that society will value them, so why are we doing this to women?

 

Second, my body is not for consumption by someone else. Why would you say that your body is for "the one that matters"? Isn't your body for yourself? A container made of flesh and bones to carry your soul through life? My body isn't here to serve anyone's purpose but my own.

 

Third, basically this says that a woman's best qualities are her tits and ass. Are you covering up your ambition? your compassion? your ability to inspire and motivate those around you with your blazer and scarf? No. Personally I think that is truly the "good stuff".

 

So basically I want to say, dress modestly if that's what makes you comfortable, but you shouldn't have to dress modestly because of what man (or other judgmental women) may think of you.  And if you happen to find yourself being a judgmental fart, take a step back and remind yourself that you have probably worn something that someone else didn't like and that doesn't make you any less of a human.  These are your sisters, so stop judging, start listening and Smash the Patriarchy.

Shop Small Lil Gifties

This year I've decided that I'm going to shop small as much as possible, but I always seem to have trouble deciding on little gifts for friends. So I created this little list of gifties that are all under 20$!!
 Socking Stuffer? Boom. Secret Santa? Pow. Friends gifts with low prices limits? Kablow!
There are heaps more small brands out there, but I chose companies that I have a little connection to so I know you'll be getting good stuff! So inject a little local love into your holiday cheer and check out this gems!

Lil' Gifties

1. Balm Bay: Awesome sugar scrubs and bath bombs! (Use code BECKA15 for 15% off your order!)
2. Richer Poorer: I love socks, so you know I've got a discerning sock palate. I especially love their active wear socks, but check them out and I bet you'll find a perfect pair for everyone on your list! (50% Off with the code "VMFF50" on full-priced goods)
3. Pricklie Pear: I was fortunate enough to win a necklace from this designer, and I love it! She stamps her own metal shapes down in SLO!
4. Meraki: These gorgeous earrings are from the east coast, but I love them dearly! They're made by a college friend of my sister. They're better than most similar earrings I've seen, and they're less expensive!
5. Onyx Exchange: I am not a perfume girl, but I'm madly in love with Onyx's solid perfumes. They're so natural and subtle, so you won't get an Axe style cloud. 
6. Whole Apothecary: My favorite item is their roll-on slumber stick! It's like falling asleep in a lavender meadow.
7. Narts and Crafts : We all have that friend that "just wants a card" or a nephew that wants a gift card, but you wanna wrap it in something special. Natalie makes incredible handmade cards for any occasion, or any food pun. (spoiler alert, yes she's my sister, and her cards are great!)
8.  Often Wander : I am super picky on candles, most are too fake smelling or burn out too quick. These are (dare I say it) perfect. Sarah uses essential oils so all the scents are real and fresh. The soy candle burns slow so you get max amount of hours with your yummy candle. Extra bonus? They're made right here in San Diego!
9. Rebecca Eichten : I love these prints! They're a perfect blend of old school botanical prints with a little whimsy. No matter what type of quintessential plant you want in your life, Rebecca has a gorgeous watercolor of it: cactus, fern, staghorn, they're all gorgeous!

In addition to ordering on their websites, there are heaps of holiday markets happening where these vendors will be out and about! Check out their social media pages for updates on where they'll be and where you can meet a real life artisan!

Low FODMAP Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Thanksgiving is probably the biggest holiday in my family. We always host and with upwards of 15 people, food is always a bit difficult. This year we have the added complication of both my dad and I being on the low FODMAP diet, but luckily we have enough control over the key elements of the meal to change them to what we need. It was a pretty huge success, so here's a little guide to how to make your big autumn meals delicious and tummy friendly!

Turkey- For the brine and stuffing, replace all onions with spring greens of Green Onions and use garlic olive oil when you rub down the turkey.

Dressing- Extra special recipe below!

Veggies- Use any of your favorite veggies dishes! We roasted broccoli and tossed it with lemon juice, zest, Parmesan, and pine nuts.

Potatoes- Bake them, mash them, boil them, just don't use any garlic or cream.

Sweet Potatoes/ Yams- Yams are okay, SP are not for those with polyos sensitivity

Gravy- Use corn starch instead of flour when making your own gravy from the drippings of the turkey.

Dessert- We made an awesome dairy free, gluten free pumpkin chocolate cake! Replace the flour with gluten free flour, butter with fake butter, and buttermilk with a non-dairy creamer option.

Pro-Tips: make your own turkey stock, buy more green onions than you'll think you'll need, make onion and garlic infused olive oil.

So here's the our awesome low FODMAP dressing recipe!

• 10 pieces of Gluten-Free Bread, 5 white and 5 rye, cubed
• 1/3 c minced springs greens of Green Onion
• 1/2 c chopped Celery (1-2 stalks)
• 2 tablespoons Olive Oil
• 2-3 Tbs unsalted butter (1 in veggies,1 on stuffing balls and 1 to grease muffin tin)
• 2 1/2 tsp of Thanksgiving poultry herbs (sage, rosemary, sage) remove big twigs and chop well
• 1 c diced Butternut Squash
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• 2 Eggs, beaten

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 
2. Roast butternut Squash for ~20 minutes, until they are fork-tender.
3. Grease muffin tin generously with butter.
   
4. Saute veggies with 1 tbs of the butter, & olive oil over medium heat in medium skillet for 5 minutes or until veggies fork-tender. Set aside to cool down a bit.
   
5. In large bowl, add bread cubes and drizzle 1 cup of water (or onion free chicken stock) over bread.
   
6. Add eggs to bread and stir to blend in.
7. Carefully add cooked vegetables and squash over bread mixture. Using spoon mix vegetables and bread cubes until resembles stuffing consistency. 
   
8. Add herbs and salt and pepper and mix well.
9. Pack in muffin tin to bake.
   
10. Place a tiny slice of butter on top of each muffin.
11. Add a dash of salt and pepper to top of stuffing ball, if desired.
12. Bake for about 25-30 minutes.
    
13. Enjoy!

Pro-Thanksgiving

      It's that time of year again, Xmas prep fest, aka Thanksgiving. Every year it seems like the red and green encroach on the beautiful fall colors earlier and earlier. And every year people succumb to "feeling festive". I manage to stave it off in two ways: 1. because I live in Southern California so it's hard to feel festive when it's 80 outside. 2. by refusing to give into capitalism.
     It is rare that people will feel "like Xmas season" because they want to give to the poor, and cook for those less fortunate. The holiday spirit usually causes people to buy stuff they don't need or start making their list of demands for relatives. So why not fight it off for just a few more days!!

      Thanksgiving is a great holiday because there are no presents, no status symbols (other than having food on your table), no obnoxious social media posts about what everybody did or didn't get. This holiday was created to celebrate two cultures coming together, sharing a meal (before we stole their land and killed most of them) and finding a warm moment right before it gets super chilly.
     I feel that this holiday is even more important this year.  Over the past month I'm sure we've all seen our social media pages fill with bigoted fearful posts. I'd love for one day, if people could just fill space with the love of their family and friends. And take the time to think about how many of us in this country are here because the people we came from wanted to be in America.

So hug your family, crunch some fall leaves, and eat a big meal before we hunker down for winter!!

Rethinking Social Media

     Everyone and their cyberstalker has been posting about the girl who "quit social media" after becoming disgusted with what her lifestyle had become. If you haven't heard the story, here's abasic run down.
     A 19 year old girl, who had been grooming her social media presence for the last few years and as a result had a crop-ton of followers, changed all her captions on Instagram to convey what was "really" happening in the picture. (I didn't eat all day and then took 100 selfies to get this one right, I was not actually zen in this photo, I was only pretending to be zen, etc.) She then deleted the account and as a result, everyone has been talking about her. I want to clear up a few things about some misconceptions and how we as a world can change the story.
1. This girl was not #healthy, #fitspo, or #cleaneating. A cursory glance at her new captions and you could tell she had an eating disorder. It is important to make people realize that your body image was not healthy or truthful, but don't assume that everyone is acting like you to have that "perfect bod" to get a perfect picture.
2. Most of her pictures were modeling, not conveying her lifestyle. I don't spend my spare time dolled up, laying in pools or dark water while surrounded by roses, but I have pictures of that. Because in modeling, as art or to sell a product, you are playing a character.
3. She was getting paid. If you see a person with a bajillion followers on Instagram post a product, there is a pretty good chance that they didn't buy it. It was sent to them and they got to keep it if they posted it and they may have even got paid in addition to that. I know people out there making their entire living off of social media posts. She was not being forced to do any of this. She did it for followers, free stuff and money.
4. If you've built this huge following, why not use it for good? rather than just tossing it in the trash? Think it's not possible? Here are a few of my favorite babes whose profiles are full of advice, funny tidbits and great brands.

@raindovemodel : Rain got a boost in notoriety after getting her own list on Buzzfeed about why she's so awesome. Basically she models men and womens wear, spends time volunteering with homeless youths and effectively kicks the gender to the curb. Need a pick me up? feeling lost in the crowd? I guarantee you she has posted something that you can relate to and will life your spirits.

I actually got to see Rain walk at my sister's show at Marist!

 @dear.dorothy : Dorothy is one of the only people that I feel totally understands body positivity. She doesn't force her ideals on others. She just wants everyone to be happy in their own skin. Her audience has grown since Mandalynn Swim began using her as one of their lifestyle models. But that's not to say that her page is all sunshine and rainbows, she uses her challenges and difficult times to inspire others in a way that isn't preachy or over bearing.

Bother of these magnificent humans use their growing audience to spread ideas of equality, self-love and compassion. I wish that this other chick had too, but oh well. Hopefully it's a wake up call for people to stop taking social media so seriously, unplug occasionally, and look for people that are spreading more genuine messages.

Rice Noodle Salad Bowl

Even though the calendar says fall, it certainly still feels like summer down here in San Diego! So here's a hearty salad bowl to combine a little of both seasons.

Ingredients

Chicken:

• 3/4 lb Boneless Skinless Chicken
• 2 T Soy Sauce
• 1 tsp Sesame Oil
• 2 tsp Ginger Minced

Salad:

• 1 Head Romaine Lettuce
• 3-4 Green Onions (FODMAP followers use green part only)
• 1/4 cup Cilantro
• 3/4 cup Carrots
• 2 cups Mandarin Oranges, drained and rinsed (FODMAP followers avoid those in pear juice or with HFCS)
• 3 oz. Rice Vermicelli Noodles (cook according to package directions) a drizzle with a small amount of sesame oi.
• 1 TB Sesame Seeds, toasted if desired.

Dressing:

• 1/2 Lime juice
• 1T Soy Sauce
• 1T Rice Vinegar
• 1/2 T Sesame Oil
• Pinch Sugar

Instructions

1. Marinate chicken breast in soy sauce, sesame oil and ginger (30 minutes to a couple hours).
2. Grill chicken until cooked thoroughly and then slice in thin strips. 
3. Rinse and chop Lettuce and Carrots
4. Place Lettuce and Carrots in a bowl and dry with a towel.
5. Top with Noodles
6. Add Sliced Chicken and Oranges
7. Drizzle with dressing, top with cilantro, green onions and diced peanuts. 
8. Enjoy!
   

Kitty Cuddles

Hi Elm

Last week Uber did "Uber Kittens" for National Cat Day (in select cities). For 30$ you can spend 15 minutes cuddling kittens and at the end of the day they are availabe through the local SPCA (at least in San Diego). This made me realize that people may not realize that it is very possible to cuddle kittens FO FREE! Here are a bunch of pics of kitties that I've helped with this year.

So I figured I would take this time to tell you how I got the super cool opportunity to cuddle with kitties while helping them find their furever homes.

Meredith

There are kitties at rescues everywhere that want your help. So here are ways that you can help and how to get in there!

How to Help:

1. Adopt a kitty- You've got a stable income and stable pet-friendly housing, long-term. ADOPT DON'T SHOP!

2. Foster- You've got stable pet housing, but don't need to look 5 years down the road. Some organizations are willing to compensate for buying food, litter, pet bills, etc.

3. Volunteer- You can commit a couple hours per week/ every 2 weeks/ per month. You get to snuggle with babies while they find a permanent home.

4. Donate- food, toys, treats, but what most rescues really need is money for vet bills to spay/neuter, vaccinate, and give their kitties a clean bill of health.

How to Find a Place:

Literally all I did was google "San Diego Cat Rescue", fill out an application with my info and wait for a call. There are heaps of places, so find one that's a good fit for you!

Follow them on Social Media (the SD Humane Society is currently looking for short term fosters for kittens) and you can get more updates on the awesome work they're doing.

Larry

PS- I'm pretty sure all these hints apply for dogs, rabbits, lizards, etc.

Peace Out Girl Scout